Why CAN T I Be A Cougar?? Read online

  I am dedicating this book to all my "sisters" that are going through or have gone through the fire in their relationships…your king will find you, and to all of my "brothers" that are searching for their queens. Keep hope alive! She’s waiting on you! … And always remember: It’s never too late.

  Foreword

  Julie, 52, is a high school principal, who grew up as a skinny, glasses wearing adolescent/teenage nerd, and developed into a beautiful, voluptuous woman. She carries with her the hurt of being teased as a child and later demeaned by an abusive husband for many years.

  Yvette, 52, is a registered nurse, who is married to a very successful surgeon and is living a wonderful and privileged life, until one fateful day when she finds out that the fairy tale has come to an end.

  Sabra, 49, is a successful catering service owner, who was mentally hurt by her husband of many years, and decides to live life by her own terms. She becomes numb of relationships where real feelings are involved. Love them and leave them is her motto…that is until one man changes her views.

  Lillian, 51, is a successful finance manager and an exotic beauty, and carries with her injustices done to her early in life. She decides to concentrate on her career rather than love, until a generous millionaire comes into her life and shows her how to truly love someone unconditionally.

  Elaine, 35, is a mother of two children, and her youngest child is diagnosed with Autism. She really loves the idea of being in a relationship, but is faced with the difficulties of finding quality men, especially being a single mom with a child that has a disability.

  Vanessa, 52, is a superintendent at a Big 3 automobile company. Despite being a woman in a field dominated by men, she is having a hard time finding a companion since her divorce. She is approached by a man much younger than her, and he sweeps her off her feet. The problems begin when she has to struggle within herself with dealing with a man who is younger, in addition to all the negativity and questions that her friends and their families are bringing to their relationship.

  This book is about a group of women, who for the most part, are in their menopausal years, but still got it going on. They show that with the support of each other, and thinking outside of the box, there is hope in finding, or being found by men, with whom they can obtain healthy, loving relationships.

  Acknowledgments

  First of all, I must thank my Lord and Savior for blessing me with the tools to write this book. I was driving to work one rainy morning, when the line, “the streaks on the windshield reminded her of the streaks down her face from the previous night,” popped into my head, and the words flourished from there. I had no idea what the book would be about, but it all came together.

  Many of the stories in this book are actual events that happened to my friends and I, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent. I have named some of the characters after some of my best friends who have passed on. These women were friends that were phenomenal human beings, and I miss them every day. R.I.P. Yvette Ingram, Sabra Officer, and Julie Leonard. I also have a character named after my idol, my “boo,” Michael Jackson, who I just know I would've married if he was still alive (a girl can dream, can't she?), and my father James "Easy" Easley.

  I was also inspired to keep writing this book on another day, while driving to work once again, and hearing a celebrity on the radio, whose name I don’t recall, say it’s never too late to go after your dreams. I've heard this many times before in my life, but on this particular day, it stuck with me and spurred me into action.

  I later added the section about the Autistic child because I am an Autism mom, and have friends with Autistic children and adults in their lives. The events about my son were real, and have prompted me to become an Autism advocate for the awareness of this condition and for people to see Autism as a positive, not a negative. I have started my own foundation, Inspirational Spectrum Heroes, and my goal is to bring hope and information to people in underserved areas in my community, for people affected by Autism.

  Thank you Nina Soto, who listened to my vision for my original cover, where the woman is looking into the mirror with the cougar as a reflection, and created it perfectly.

  Thank you Joanna Moscatia for editing, patience, and encouragement.

  And last, I want to thank my wonderful book club friends who read my first draft and gave me so much constructive criticism: Laura Little, Mary Squire, Karol Wilson, Vicki Wilborn, Lorraine Moscat, and Gwen Dyer Mitchell. Special shout out to Vana Thiero, who is my “shero”, and always pushes me when I feel like I can’t go on, and my other shero, Ungenita Provost, who helped me in my quest to publish this book. Thanks, Susan Sengezer, may she rest in peace, for all your support and belief, and all my other friends and family who are anxiously, waiting for this dream to become a reality.

  This is a fun, but sometime serious book about joy and pain, hope and blessings … you never know where, when, and in what form they will come, but God has it all worked out ... just be ready to receive it!

  Book One

  Julie

  Brrrrriiing! The alarm clock rang. It was 5 a.m. Julie rolled over and hit the snooze button. Brrrrinnng! The alarm clock rang again. It was 5:15 a.m. Julie rolled over and hit the snooze button again. Brrrrinnng! The alarm clock rang again. It was 5:30 a.m. Julie rolled over, wiped the sleep from her eyes, and looked out the window. It was a rainy, October morning in Pontiac, Michigan, and she really didn't want to get out of bed, even though she knew she had to go to work. Good cuddling weather, she thought, even though there was nobody there to cuddle with. She hit the snooze button again.

  Julie did this routine two more times, and then jumped up on the last ring because she knew she had to be at work at 7 a.m. and it was now 6 o’clock. She grumbled as she stumbled over the clothes and shoes on the floor, because she hadn't cleaned her room in over a week. She always changed outfits a million times, always at the last minute, throwing clothes everywhere, leaving her room in havoc. Maybe later, she thought and headed to the bathroom. As she looked in the mirror and saw her bloodshot eyes and the bags under them, she just shook her head as she brushed her teeth. She got in the shower for a quick five minutes … just long enough to hit the important parts. She laughed to herself because she could hear her friends calling it a “hoe” bath. At least I got in the shower and not just washed up in the sink, she thought, then proceeded to do the same routine she did every morning; threw on the clothes she picked out to wear the previous night, applied a little mascara and lip gloss, grabbed a banana, a protein drink and water, then picked up her purse, grabbed her keys, and into the car to head to work. She worked at Pontiac High School, which is located in Pontiac, Michigan. Pontiac is a suburb north of Detroit, and the former home to many General Motors automobile factories.

  This particular day didn’t start off as a great day. The gray Michigan skies were foreboding, and the rain had poured down hard all night. The streaks on the windshield reminded her of the streaks down her face from the previous night, when she had cried herself to sleep. Jerry, the latest guy she had been dating, stood her up again. She kept calling him, and he wouldn't even answer the phone. Even though she said she wouldn't, she cried out of disappointment and anger. On this particular morning, the clouds and their gloomy aura didn’t help her feel any better.

  "Damn him," she said out loud to herself, "Whenever he decides to call me, I'm not gonna answer the phone. Screw him." As soon as she said it, she knew she was lying. She spent too much time checking the phone to see if he had called. She had stared at it so much, almost willing it to ring, but knew he hadn't called and probably wouldn't. In actuality, she really couldn't wait for him to call so that she could tell him off. She was not one for
holding her tongue when she had something she needed to say, and it was burning her up keeping her hurt, anger, and disappointment to herself.

  Julie met Jerry two months ago. She was downtown Detroit, Michigan at the Ribs and Soul Festival, where she was to meet up with her friend Sabra. The festival was held outdoors at Hart Plaza, which was bustling with people. The vendors were lined up and down the plaza, selling clothes, food, jewelry, music, artwork, and accessories. Smoke from all the pits spiraled to the sky, and emitted delicious aromas. It was a beautiful, warm day ... a perfect day to be out and about.

  Hart Plaza is situated on the shores of the Detroit River, and on this day, it reflected the beaming sun off its gentle waves. There were a few pleasure boats and some freighters meandering down the river. The view of Windsor, Canada, which was just across the river, from there, was wonderful. Although she had been there many times before, she always marveled at the scenery and loved to walk along the newly formed River Walk path that stretched from Hart Plaza for about a mile along the river to the fabulous Chene Park outdoor amphitheater.

  She was enjoying the view and the feel of the sun on her face, and then she saw him. She hadn’t noticed him at first, and when she did, she almost tripped over her own feet as she did a double take of this tall, fine, chocolate Adonis that walked past her.

  “My, my, my,” she muttered under her breath, and was glad that she was wearing sunglasses so that he could not see her checking him out. He had a walk that oozed sex appeal mixed with confidence. She rummaged through her purse to locate her cell phone, and when she found it, put in a 911 smiley face group text to her five best friends. They all knew this to mean “hunk alert”, and that details would follow soon. Had she put in a sad face along with a 911, they would know it was a real emergency. She looked up from her phone after she sent her text, and discovered he was gone, lost in the ever-increasing crowd. She looked around for a little while, but didn’t see him, and because she was hungry and tired of waiting on Sabra, she decided to order some ribs. The smell of the delectable foods had overtaken her senses and made her stomach grumble.

  "I will have an order of rib tips," she said to the concession worker ... "and no fries. I'm trying to watch my figure," she giggled. The worker briefly looked her over, and smiled at her, and told her that the fries came with the tips, but it was up to her. At that moment, in her ear came the dreamiest voice ... "don't worry about watching your figure; I'll watch it for you." She slowly turned around and came face to face, or rather chest to face, with the fine mystery man that she had just salivated over.

  "Excuse me?" she said, for lack of anything else to say. He gently took her hand and kissed the back of it. "Your figure is just fine. Who told you that you need to diet?"

  Normally she would've wiped her hand off on her clothes, since she didn't like strangers’ spit on her hand, but this man had her feeling giddy, like a little girl, so she blushed instead. "No one told me. Just putting on certain clothes speaks for itself, and I refuse to buy a larger size," she rambled, "but you don't need to know all that, and thank you for the compliment."

  "Well, my name is Jerry, and can I pay for your ribs ... and fries?" he said with a smile. Julie was really into good dental hygiene, and she smiled when she saw his beautiful, white teeth.

  "And you are …?

  "Julie," she finally said. It’s nice of you to offer, but it's not necessary."

  Jerry reached in his pocket, leaned past her, and paid for her food anyway.

  "That was very nice of you," she said. "Thank you and it was nice meeting you, Jerry."

  She took her food and started to walk away, when he called out, "excuse me again, but are you here with your man?" At first she thought, yes! —not in response to the question about her man, but because he was interested. Then, that little voice in her head (that sometimes told her things that she really wanted to say but didn’t) spoke, and said, he should've asked that before he bought my food. But instead she said, "I'm waiting for one of my friends, and for your information, it's a female, so I'm alone at the moment." Then her other, bold self that she didn’t know existed until now, said aloud, "But I'm not alone if I'm with you, am I?" she said flirtingly.

  "So, you were just going to take your food and leave?" he asked.

  "Uh, well, I didn't know there were strings attached to the food," she replied.

  "And there isn't," he said, “I was just hoping you would join me so that I could get to know you better."

  She looked him over again and said, "I guess I have a few minutes to spare with you," she answered.

  They both smiled. She waited while he ordered some rib tips and fries for himself, and they found a place to sit and eat.

  As they started to eat, Julie thought, if I had known this was going to happen, I would've ordered something less messy, so she tried to eat her rib tips as best as she could without getting barbeque sauce everywhere and meat stuck in her teeth. Guess I won't be licking my fingers today because this sauce is the bomb, and boy could I use a toothpick! she thought with a smile, and Jerry looked over at her and asked, "So what are you smiling about, Ms. Julie?" At that she burst out laughing, confessed her thoughts, and he joined in the laughter. His laugh was so sexy, and she thought nothing was sexier than this tall, chocolate, fine man’s laugh. She squirmed in her seat and rubbed her thighs together ... his presence was actually making her hot! Damn! He is sexy, she thought again as she looked at him.

  As Julie looked over at him, she wanted to pinch herself, because she couldn't believe that this man was interested in her. She was not ugly by any means. She had milk chocolate skin, shoulder length black hair, big brown eyes, a killer figure, and a smile that was welcoming. She sometimes wore glasses, which is why she really didn't see the beauty that she was. She was always teased as a child and called four eyes, coke bottle glasses, and Olive Oyl from the Popeye comics, because back then, not only did she wear thick glasses, thank goodness for contacts, she was also as skinny as a pole.

  "So, what does Julie do for a living?" asked Jerry.

  "I am a high school principal," she answered.

  Jerry's beautiful eyes opened wide. "Get out of here! A teacher maybe, but you surely aren't old enough to be a principal! Man, if my principal looked like you, I would've gotten into trouble everyday just to go to the office," he said with a smile while shaking his head.

  Julie thought about that remark, because it was yet another retort that she heard so often in her life, in addition to, "Paddle me please, I've been bad", and she replied, "Well, I'm a lot older than you think."

  "Do you mind me asking how old you are?" he asked, "And you don't have to answer, if you think that's rude."

  Julie came back with the classic answer that she has used a million times. "No, I don't think it's rude. How old do you think I am?"

  Jerry, being the man of finesse that he is, said, "Thirty, thirty-two-ish?" Julie started laughing, then said, "Thank you, but I'm a lot older than that. I'm fifty-two." Jerry's eyebrows shot up and his eyes bucked, because he was really thinking she was not that old.

  "You're kidding, right?"

  "No, I'm not, so how old are you?"

  "Forty-two," he replied.

  "Oh Lord", thought Julie, I knew he was younger, but not that much. She was always attracted to older men, and her mind was made up that she would never date a man more than five years younger than her.

  Julie rose up and said, "Well, it was nice meeting you and thank you for the food."

  As she turned to leave, he gently grabbed her arm and said, "Hold on. Is my age a problem?"

  She came back with, "Is my age a problem?"

  Then fine Jerry said, "Age is nothing but a number, and you are so beautiful and refreshing, and I really want to get to know you better. I feel a good vibe from you. Plus, I like grown, sexy women ... I'm not into girls."

  Julie looked him up and down and decided she could definitely do this, even though she felt he was too young. Just then,
her phone chimed in. It was Sabra, saying she had arrived, and was waiting for her by the fountain.

  "Well, my friend is here and I have to go, but I'm going to give you my number, and I will be waiting on your call. My number is 248-824-6969."

  He took her hand, kissed the back of it again, and said, "I promise I'm going to call you tonight, if that's okay?" he said after he put her number in his phone.

  "You'd better! And it was nice meeting you, and thanks again for the food! Bye,” she said as she nearly floated over to where her friend was waiting.

  “Good bye Ms. Julie,” he replied as she was walking away. “Talk to you this evening.”

  Sabra sat by the fountain, enjoying people-watching, when Julie arrived.

  "Sabra, I have just met my next baby daddy!" said Julie with a big smile on her face.

  "Oh really," said Sabra. "I got your 911 text. Tell me more."

  Julie told Sabra all about Jerry and their encounter.

  "Well, my friend, slow down and let's find out a little bit more about this guy. We know that everything that looks good ain't always good." Sabra knows that her friend is lonely and anxious to find a nice companion, but Sabra likes to keep things real with her friends…sometimes painfully real.